May 2011
1 post
2 tags
News
Did you hear? Michael Jackson died.
No really, how much do I have to hear about Osama now?
December 2010
1 post
April 2010
3 posts
March 2010
5 posts
Bad News Brothers
Remember this classic? Well, my dear friend Amy just sent me a picture that is eerily similar to this little brother fiasco:
Why are little brothers such jerks?
Sex Novel
One of the former employees at my office wrote his autobiography of his sex life while at work and left it on the hard drive.
Dramatic reading at noon.
Ready
I’m coming back to Tumblr. It’s been a looong break away.
May 2009
1 post
Snails
I now know someone who actively goes out of their way to step on snails. She’ll even crush them with her hands. That’s really fucking weird, right?
April 2009
48 posts
Sex Tapes/Cockblocking
“Sup?”
The Human Brain
I like being in my mind as much as being out of it.
Jokes
I can’t believe its 2009 and people still are repeating Simpsons jokes. I routinely hear, “The googles, they do nothing!” or “Excellent.”
WHAT THE FUCK?
New lows
I just heated up a Hungry Man “1lb of dinner!” frozen dinner tray for lunch and braided my hair into Heidi pigtails.
Gifts
The other day I remembered my high school sweetheart use to buy his mom Scooby Doo stuff for every gift-giving holiday. Scooby Doo cups, plates, sweaters, socks, board games, stamps, hats, cat sweaters, nightlights, cereal, etc. Their house was FILLED with Scooby Doo stuff. So when day I asked him, “Why do you always get your mom Scooby Doo stuff?” He said, “I don’t know....
Food
Activa yogurt tastes like Domino’s pizza to me. I just bought a 24 pack.
Internet Savvy
Very few people actually get what “interesting content” means in regards to sending around YouTube videos and comics.
“God is a hell of a casting agent.”
– fourfour
Hippies
I love with hippies act like they aren’t actually hippies. Observe:
Me: Hey Kevin, are you going to that musical jam on Monday night at Katie’s?
Kevin: No, sounds too hippie-ish.
Me: You lived in a yurt.
Weird Names for Old People 1
Courtney, Brad, Tiffany, Zack.
I can’t imagine seeing grey haired people being called any of those names.
Observation
Why is everyone on Tumblr drunk?
Serious Business
My campus is freaking out about the impending arrival of Santa Cruzian’s favorite holiday where they get to smoke pot open and free in the huge meadow surrounding the campus with hundreds of others. Here is the memo we got on it today:
UCSC is committed to providing a safe, healthy living and learning environment in which you can thrive while earning a world class education. To that end, I...
Fun Facts
klrdustbunnies:
Why do newspapers say “FUN FACT” and then have it actually be a horrible fact.
Fun Fact: 400 people died in a fire on this day in 1709
This is IN FACT NOT FUN for the 400 people who died.
WatchScreech being interviewed by James Lipton is my favorite.
“Um… FROSTED NUTS!”
Confession Time
I don’t actually know what “mutually exclusive” means. Whenever I use it in a sentence, I take a gamble.
Physics
The sun will eventually dry us all up. Then we’ll be left with our memories and what if those aren’t good enough company. Or what if we’re left with nothing but our bodies we barely protected?
Bad News Bears
pyoko:
The Bone Thugs N' Harmony of eHarmony brings you... →
Lies
When I was little my mom told me that Steve Martin got struck by lightening and that’s why he had white hair. What she forgot to do was correct me when, at 25, I made the mistake of telling several people this “fun fact” at a party.
Overheard
Overheard at a gas station:
“What is this place? A gas station?”
Bad Alf Reference
“Your vagina looks like Alf’s mouth.”
Luckily, I’ve been spared this compliment.
Good Alf Reference
Sister: Can you stay in your room until Ryan leaves? I don't want him to find an excuse to stay.
Me: What am I, Alf?